The Devil's Double Trailer (HD)

I'm dying to watch this movie.. Very interesting xoxo

Flooding ! TWATT ! Twilight, Wigan and Take That !

It's sad that while I was in New York this weekend - a trip I will never forget - The North of England was suffering the worst flooding in 'a thousand years of records.' Whilst I wasn't aware records had been kept that long, a number of people very sadly died and many were left homeless.

Equally sad is that in spite of this natural disaster - no doubt inspired by the climate change that is (as Exxon says) 'a figment of scientific imagination' - it seems the majority of news coverage in the UK over the period was dedicated to the launch of the new Twilight movie - New Moon, Premiership Football Team Wigan's record 9-1 loss to Tottenham and Robbie Williams threat to reform with Take That. And of course there has been much ado about nothing regarding the talentless, stupid, incapable pair of tits formerly known as model Jordan - leaving the jungle in 'I'm a celebrity get me out of here' - but I'm not going to even touch that Twat...

New Moon - the latest in the Twilight Saga, starring the delightfully ordinary Kristen Stewart, the delightfully buff Taylor Lautner and the delightfully enchanting Robert Pattinson, has been universally slammed by the critics for being too long, too choppy and too pubescent. Despite his air-brushed on Abs - apparently Pattinson is once again 'smouldering and sexy' whilst Lautner apparently put on 30lbs of muscle for the role and (thankfully) had a haircut...

Well, I haven't seen it yet but the world record-breaking opening weekend (taking £40 million) suggests that a number of other people share my thoughts in saying 'how can 2 hours of Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson be too long?' Indeed, I have read Stephanie Meyers novel and it was just... delightful. I've read Eclipse aswell and am currently making my way through BREAKING DAWN...

What I struggle to understand is how the critics pick up on the Saga's 'abstinence' theme but completely miss the fact that whilst Edward the Vampire looks 17 - he is in fact over 100 years old. Doesn't anyone find it kindof creepy that a 100 year old man is in love with a 17 year old klutz!? I mean... c'mon! Old feller dates back before Eau De Toillete and 'back, sack and cracks' were in vogue! Still, he is a benevolent vegetarian Vampire, and rich, so... (yes you all would!!!)

Premiership soccer team Wigan lost 9-1 to Tottenham Hotspur this weekend. Four hundred and fifty away fans watched in horror as their team failed to even rise to the occasion... Whilst the readio reports that the Wigan players were so ashamed, they will personally refund the fans ticket prices, I suspect in fact that the manager has 'encouraged' them to make this gesture from their reported salaries of £3-15,000 per week per player ('performance / capability' / individual contract dependant).

Other teams and commentators are suggesting the players are setting a unnecessary precedent with this gesture. I think not. In fact I believe it is very necesary.. For all teams! Soccer players rank at the top of the salary tree with Bill Gates (responsible for inflicting Microsoft Windows Vista on the world) and a host of other non-contributing painfully untalented 'musical performers' and 'TV and Film Actors.'

As one caller suggested - as a salesman, if he doesn't perform, he gets no commission... great idea - let's rationalise prima-donna footballers, performers and actors wages in line with performance in games, the league, the album charts and the box-office.

That is not to suggest that Kristen, Taylor and Rob get a slice of £40million - but perhaps a demi-slice with a maximum upper limit that reflects the difficult times being experienced by all peoples of the World from Africa to the USA...

Speaking of people who don't contribute and get paid far more than they will ever be worth... Robbie Williams has been, since he fired his song-writing chum Guy Chambers (for wanting to write on a non-exclusive basis) - easily as unsuccessful as his limited talent should merit. Take That however have flourished.

It's sad that Gary Barlow and co seem intent on inflicting the unsuspecting public with Mark Owens appalling lead vocal on so many of their songs. Unable to pronounce 'R' he at leasst initially tried to, but has now embraced the replacement 'W' whilst increasing his Mancunian dialect. Absolutely appalling. So bad it's laughable... if only it wasn't wepeated weally often on the wadio...

Stop singing please. You once were cute and could therefore be forgiven - but no more...

As I said, I'm not going to go into Jordan, even if I could get past those ridiculous melons... but I will mention that like the other top talentlessness that was Jade (Gawd rest her soul (I never have to see her ugly mug again)) Goody, she actually gets paid for being bloody stupid, irresponsible and for writing and talking bollocks.

Hmm, pehaps I can make some money yet...

Anyway, back to the most important events of the weekend...

How about that flooding?!

Diner dans cons...19 Oct 09

Last night we went through the painful process of selecting which films we didn’t want to see at the Cinema in Les Halles. This is very often the case as our tastes (which have always been slightly different) seem to be almost the complete opposite of each other. My other half reviewed ‘500 Days In Summer’ yet again and I quietly grimaced at the prospect of a ‘Chick-flick’ with the added pain of Zooey Deschamel (and yes, that is the correct spelling). Of course, Zooey is one of the worst up and coming talent(lessness)s of her generation – playing the same card-board ‘secretly wise’ early twenty-something lower middle-class know-it-all as she played in ‘Tin Man’ (Wizard of Oz for the new Millennium (utter crap)). And again, he reviewed ‘Les Demineurs’ (The Hurt Locker), scrolling through 8 fantastic reviews until he came to the ninth, where the last line apparently said ‘it was a bit too long.’ Voila! Damn good reason for not seeing my choice – despite the fact that I was kinda a ‘Demineur Marine’ in a past life...
So, to the choice of DVDs... First of all ,’The Kite Runner’ which I have seen and was superb, but not really Sunday Night viewing for someone who likes ‘Chick-flicks.’ Next one, ‘Little Miss Sunshine’ with the ear-splittingly painful little 7 year old ‘princess’(bitch) who I have managed to avoid since it got ‘charming’ reviews and Oscar nominations on the year of its release (one day no-doubt I will watch this at low volume and enjoy it – as fields of Nephilim infest the Earth and wipe out life). Next one, ‘Alpha Dog.’ Again, I have seen this probably twice. It has an exceptional young cast, bad language, seens of violence and ‘some scenes of nudity and sex.’ Perfect... So we instead watched a French classic about a group of successful Parisian men who weekly invite specially chosen ‘idiots’ (or bores) to dinner so they can secretly piss themselves laughing, and do you know what – it has joined other classic French movies such as ,‘Coquiilages et Crustaceans’ ‘ Les Bronzes font du Ski’ ‘Presque Rien’ and ‘Bienvenue de Ch’ti’ on my list of great, great movies. I laughed out loud, repeatedly (no mean feat for me). A great cast of highly talented famous French actors and actresses (no not Depardieu and yes, they still have ‘actresses’ in France unlike Hollywood where they are all ‘actors’ for some reason) – a tremendous script taken from a stage play, and some wonderful, perfect comic timing... (pause for dramatic effect). So, all in all, what was spiralling into a possibly painful sulky evening turned out rather well. It didn’t create much in the way of passionate embraces – but then that is another problem entirely.
This morning I caught a glimpse of a British ‘News’ paper with a short headline saying, ’Families to pay nuclear tax on energy.’ I wonder if this is another ‘stealth tax’? What’s certain is that the excessive cost of energy we are paying has nought to do with the price of Oil or Gas anymore. Instead, it is to do with the rich and the greedy having creamed off so much profit from us for the last 20 years that the companies have invested nothing into replacing old gas-pipes, electric cabling, sub-stations, replacement power-plants or alternative energy sources – hence we are all crippled with stupendous bills while Mr & Mrs EDF Share-holder go to the country club in the Bentley’s and Maybach’s. And what does the British consumer do about this? Like the French, do they refuse to pay for their energy en masse and take to the streets to protest, or do they shrug their shoulders and say,’it’s terrible isn’t it... crack open little Jooeys piggy-bank for 50p for the meter will you? I need to get the TV on for Big-Brother.’
I think there may be a few-million candidates in Britain, for 'Diner dans cons' in Paris...