At 0825 this morning I remembered my appointment with my Chiropractor had changed from 1430 to 0830. Bugger! A rapid drive later, through the morning rush hour (without exceeding the speed limit of course)and I was on the 'couch'? with my Chiropractors thumbs knuckle deep in the backs of my shoulders. Now, bear in mind, this is a McTimoney Chiropractic - they effectively don't crunch joints and try to twist your head off - and yet here I was, sitting straight, with tears in my eyes, wondering why the bloody hell I was paying somebody a pound a minute to inflict exceptional levels of pain upon my person... surely he should have been in the porn industry! And no, my Chiro is not cute though I am sure he must be masochistic. Or is it sadistic? The latter I think...
'Ooh, you're very tense,' he said.
'So the fuck would you be if you had somebody trying to drive a blunt bone through you muscles you absolute bastard,' I didnt say...
When I had arrived, I knew I had pain and tension in my right clavicle - and he indeed confirmed that my pelvis was out of alignment, the left side of my back was over-compensating for a disruption to the right upper side of my vertibrae and well - I won't bore you except to say I usually go monthly but had to leave it for 7 weeks as I've been away to North Africa, The USA, Hawaii and the Middle East - almost consecutively - for work, pleasure and work... and truthfully, even Business Class Airline seats aren't good for your back... not to mention the amount of tech gadgets I have to carry around all the time...
Anyway, needless to say I felt much better after the consultation and ready for a 4 hour (yes 4 hour!) Command Group meeting at work, to discuss how shit things are... Great job eh? I am actually prgrammed in for 4 hours (2 actually, but it so shit we need more time) a week so we (the command) can collectively drip like a septic tank (or squadron thereof).
But back to my consultation - why did he change my appointment? Oh, yes - so he could go to Germany and learn how to manipulate horses! Yes! Horses! I can imagine him now whispering to the horse, sticking his knee deep into it's back - before he is swiftly ejected in a high arc through the sky, while the horse whispers back,
'yes - it does fucking hurt!'
